Old Headlines for Stories as Yet Unwritten

Miu Miu? No, Bow Wow!
Dogs Slobber All Over 10,000

Today the Lap Terrier,
Tomorrow the Saint Bernard

Women with dogs at Bergdorf—Macy’s next?

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Toss My Salad!
Gnat Butter Making
a Comeback

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Whosiwhatsit, Unprolific Writer and
Generally Wasted Procrastinator, Dies

Fake Age Unknown

Went Pretty Gently Into that Good
Night, All Things Being Equal, and
So Forth

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Hypochondriac Finds Freckle on Forearm


Could it Signal Autism? Sciatica?


Sidelwells, NY--This morning Jody
Santangelo, 24, located a small,
dun-colored freckle on her right
forearm.