In Honor of the Onion's Horoscopes
The Forer (or Barnum) effect
Description
A psychological phenomenon in which people tend to ignore inaccurate assessments of their personality while interpreting general claims to be true. Unconsciously, people tend to force-fit generalizations about their character into the way they view themselves or would like to view themselves. Psychologist B.R. Forer liked to amaze people with his ability to ‘divine’ their personality traits but all he used were the sweeping generalizations found in ordinary horoscopes.
[You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself.]
You look over people’s shoulders
To see who’s looking at you.
Your hair’s in place, your shoes are right
But the package just won’t do.
It’s all wrong!
[While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.]
You do the comb-over when you must,
For those little flaws you cannot trust
To escape the notice of every voyeur
Searching for cracks in your pin-neat foyer.
(They’re there . . .)
[You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage.]
It’s true your reservoir is filled to the brim
But isn’t there always some gossamer scrim,
Tough as chain mail, hot as fire,
Keeping you from your deepest desire?
Damn it to hell.
[Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.]
Indeed you’re a model of pure poise and grace,
Having practiced so long to put smile on face,
Keeping the real fissures hidden from view
Known only to head shrinks, and, sometimes, to you.
Jell-O has more character.
[At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.]
Prufrock and Hamlet were lucky—weren’t they?
A nifty black typeface to hang out in all day.
The red tie? The blue dress? Low-cal or premium?
And larger questions—well, that’s just a screamium.
I wouldn’t put myself in my hands.
[You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.]
Aren’t too many people all the same way?
Really, the best course: a quick getaway.
And staying in one place? So damn domestic—
Would make any sane person completely dyspeptic.
I’m moving to Dendrobia!
[You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.]
The individual mind is like a chain of blue lakes,
Seen from a hilltop where tin-bright air slakes
All memory of cant and hypocrisy,
Which is to say, factual statements rife with inaccuracy.
Please say something—anything—I can believe.
[But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.]
But why should you let others swim in your lakes?
They tend to throw rocks, and bring water snakes.
Which doesn’t suit your blueness at all.
Best to stay this side of quiet: don’t write, don’t call.
[Insert brood (A) into sulk (B) here; secure with Scotch tape.]
[At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved.]
But then you do! (write and call) Aren’t people curious?
They’re lithe and funny (also mean and spurious).
It’s so hard to know when to let them know you,
What if you (they?) don’t like what they (you?) do?
Inconsistency is so unreliable, not to mention, irritating.
[Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.]
Okay, so your reach and your grasp don’t always agree,
Maybe this makes you flawed perfectly.
You’d like to think so, anyway—
How else to get through the day?
Lunch!
Description
A psychological phenomenon in which people tend to ignore inaccurate assessments of their personality while interpreting general claims to be true. Unconsciously, people tend to force-fit generalizations about their character into the way they view themselves or would like to view themselves. Psychologist B.R. Forer liked to amaze people with his ability to ‘divine’ their personality traits but all he used were the sweeping generalizations found in ordinary horoscopes.
[You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself.]
You look over people’s shoulders
To see who’s looking at you.
Your hair’s in place, your shoes are right
But the package just won’t do.
It’s all wrong!
[While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.]
You do the comb-over when you must,
For those little flaws you cannot trust
To escape the notice of every voyeur
Searching for cracks in your pin-neat foyer.
(They’re there . . .)
[You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage.]
It’s true your reservoir is filled to the brim
But isn’t there always some gossamer scrim,
Tough as chain mail, hot as fire,
Keeping you from your deepest desire?
Damn it to hell.
[Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.]
Indeed you’re a model of pure poise and grace,
Having practiced so long to put smile on face,
Keeping the real fissures hidden from view
Known only to head shrinks, and, sometimes, to you.
Jell-O has more character.
[At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.]
Prufrock and Hamlet were lucky—weren’t they?
A nifty black typeface to hang out in all day.
The red tie? The blue dress? Low-cal or premium?
And larger questions—well, that’s just a screamium.
I wouldn’t put myself in my hands.
[You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.]
Aren’t too many people all the same way?
Really, the best course: a quick getaway.
And staying in one place? So damn domestic—
Would make any sane person completely dyspeptic.
I’m moving to Dendrobia!
[You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof.]
The individual mind is like a chain of blue lakes,
Seen from a hilltop where tin-bright air slakes
All memory of cant and hypocrisy,
Which is to say, factual statements rife with inaccuracy.
Please say something—anything—I can believe.
[But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.]
But why should you let others swim in your lakes?
They tend to throw rocks, and bring water snakes.
Which doesn’t suit your blueness at all.
Best to stay this side of quiet: don’t write, don’t call.
[Insert brood (A) into sulk (B) here; secure with Scotch tape.]
[At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved.]
But then you do! (write and call) Aren’t people curious?
They’re lithe and funny (also mean and spurious).
It’s so hard to know when to let them know you,
What if you (they?) don’t like what they (you?) do?
Inconsistency is so unreliable, not to mention, irritating.
[Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.]
Okay, so your reach and your grasp don’t always agree,
Maybe this makes you flawed perfectly.
You’d like to think so, anyway—
How else to get through the day?
Lunch!
posted by Elizabeth Manus at 9:38 AM
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